Two Planets

I had a dream last night that I was standing on a corner downtown singing gospel songs with a small group of women. There were people sitting it chairs in the road watching us, totally unmindful of the cars that were passing. We were singing the same hook over and over and when I woke up (horrid alarm) I had the made up song in my head. I was singing it to myself while I washed my face and put on my contacts…I’ve forgotten it since. On Saturday night I had a post-apocalyptic dream…the invasion of zombies hit our world at last. I was with my little sister, trying to comfort her because her husband Ryan had just been killed by a zombie. It wasn’t a cool, shoot ‘em up type of dream…I have those too…this one was more real, dark and dirty. The buildings were all broken and vacant; we were hiding in one of them, in the dust and dark. She was crying quietly and I was trying to hug her while keeping an eye out for any sudden movement. There were others with us…the building had been a school so there were papers and desks all over the place. It was very scary. I only remember that scene from the dream but I know it was one of those drawn out affairs.  Isn’t it strange how dreams take shape and work their way through your dreams? I have the most peculiar dreams every night, im so grateful that I can remember them. I’ve wanted to start a dream journal but I keep putting it off. I guess this is a good place to start.

Things are getting better every day, I’m happy to say Jay’s heart seems a bit fuller and he is so open to love and our making our little family the primary focus. I can see such a change in how he looks at me and touches me and talks to me…I feel giddy inside all over again! Happiness has been a long time coming, things are falling into place and the constant worry that I’ve felt over the past few years is slowly dwindling. I try not to get too optimistic...i don’t want to set myself up for failure…but I can’t help how happy I am.

I listened to two new albums today, It’s Blitz! ~ The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Two Suns ~ Bat for Lashes. I have been waiting for this YYYs album for quite some time and I must say I’m sort of weirded out by it. It, for the most part, sounds nothing like the old albums. I know that is not necessarily a bad thing, but in this case it may be. It’s incredibly disappointing because I love them so much…I may just need to give it some time to sink and do its magic. Dull Life is definitely my favorite off It’s Blitz!. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE Two Suns!!! Bat for Lashes never fails to take me away to a fantasy world, a small castle in the middle of a forest where wild horses run freely. I love her voice and picture she paints with her lyrics. So Beautiful! This album will definitely be on rotation for quite some time. I’ve already listened to it twice today!

Vespertine

I have been so busy lately. I feel like a sponge, soaking up new information and trying to become a better person in the process.

I have enrolled in the second level of Tribal Fusion, something I wasn’t too sure of...a week away from class will do that to me. I’m happy that I decided to stay with it. Being back with all the girls in the studio listening to tribal drums and learning new things is so empowering. We are all different shapes and sizes and no one is judging. The time flies by and before I know it, class is over. Meeting once a week just isn’t enough! Why would i ever doubt my need to return to this class? I think i just become a hermit when given the chance. I am trying so hard to get away from that easy road. I am reaching back into myself and finding that organic, feminine place within me. I am connecting with my soul again.

I’ve started playing guitar again. Jay and I fell in love because of the guitar and now he is giving me lessons again. I find myself sitting in the living room playing for hours at a time. This time I am doing it for myself and I love it even more. We are buying drums sometime in the next few months, maybe our dream of starting a band will actually become a reality.

I make time to practice yoga every day when I get home from work. I have about an hour each day to myself and I cherish this time.

I am finding myself again, growing into someone I’ve always wanted to be. I’m trying so hard to be positive and love myself unconditionally…it’s tougher than it seems but I know it’ll get easier. Spring has begun and it has filled me with optimism.

Ps.

Jay tells me that we should start talking about marriage and buying a home for ourselves…I am so excited about the present and future!